It happened. It finally caught up with me. I had to fight for control and remember which hat I was wearing. I had to repeatedly remind myself of my place, and then place both feet firmly in it and stay there.
It was one of the more difficult things I’ve done.
There was a time when all my hats sort of merged into one headpiece and on the front of the combined mass was spelled “Union Rep” in flashing lights.
But not this time. I’m just the secretary.
My secretary’s job is placed squarely in the middle of management.
I’m not writing this to complain; I love my job. But I’m starting to see that every once in a while I will be tested. My mettle will come under review by outside forces and the inner Union rep in me will start to twitch a little, rear up to see what’s happening, and then want to momentarily take over.
I write this to work it out for myself, to pull out all the little pieces and examine them clearly in an effort to become familiar with this new article of clothing I’m wearing; this new hat that is so different from my previous collection.
I can see that it clashes.
This new hat has no flashing lights. It’s rather plain and muted; a neutral color with no boldness. It is to remain in the background, on the bottom, in the backseat. Periodically acknowledged but not really noticed.
I did well. During my mettle’s test I remained calm, remembered my place, and performed efficiently. I did not assert, interfere, take charge, educate, or advise.
It was a test of my own inner strength and I’m proud of the results.
Can I be happy in a role that doesn’t have me out front and center and in charge of things like I have been for so many years? A role that doesn’t have me solving problems, fighting for rights, and teaching others how to be an effective Union Rep?
I think so. It may take some more time to fully accept the hat I’m wearing and be able to behave accordingly, but yes, I think so.